I sit there in silence, anxiousness and anticipation swallows me whole. What will come of my journey to meet dear Mugwort? The drum starts beating and I breathe.
With every exhale, I lose anxiousness. With every inhale, I think of Mugwort.
I am transformed. I am young again and I am in my parent’s back yard. It is a beautiful sunny day. I am about to go onto the hammock. On my way, I see a gaping hole in the tree. I am called to climb in. Although it is dark, I am not scared. I begin to descend the ladder. Descension last a long time here. Step by step. It remains dark. Does she not want to meet me? I’m anxious again. I am climbing down the ladder rapidly now. I want out of here.
As soon as I begin to panic, it starts getting lighter. A cool, silvery, emerald green light shines into the tree trunk. I see the opening below me and the tops of the trees. The dense tree tops reflect a silvery light against their rich navy, teal, green, and purple leaves.
I finally make it to the bottom. Damp and cool soil is below foot. I begin to walk forward, and the colors begin to change. A shift from cool to warm. During this transition a rabbit and a deer rush past me on the left side. I am nervous again. Why are they running? What are they running from?
I continue on the path in strength.
The further I go, the brighter it gets. The light becomes blinding and I realize I am standing next to the sun. I could kiss it. I am surrounded by warmth and orange tones, but I begin to feel a strong wind spiral around me. I feel a transition.
I am not meeting Mugwort, I am becoming her.
I stand there grounded; unwavering, bold, and tall. I feel beautiful. I have no fears. I have no reason to worry.
I am strong. I am powerful. I am woman.
From afar, I hear the footsteps. I feel vibrations underneath me. I sense a bear is approaching me. The birds begin to chirp. I don’t waver.
I am reminded of my inner strength.
DATE OF JOURNEY: 29 October 2018
DETAILS: Drumming / Sitting Crossed-Legged / Palms Face-Up / Mugwort in Right Hand
FROM MY NOTEBOOK: I began to descend into the tree in my parent’s backyard. I climb in and start going down via ladder. It was dark and enriched with browns and blacks. Felt like I was on the descent for a long time. I begin to see an opening with tree cover – rich and bold cool colors., teal and purple and navy. I finally reach the ground. I start walking towards the light. As I am going down this path, a deer and a rabbit run past me. It opens up and it is bright. Like I could kiss the sun. Standing there tall. Strong. My hand starts to tingle (right hand filled with Mugwort). I can feel strong . . . tough footsteps. The vibration. I hear chirping. I quickly run back and ascend back into my parent’s yard. When I awoke and started writing, I could feel tingling on my head. Similar to reiju.
Laying there, covered in pine branches, I am struggling to settle down. After minutes of stirring inside myself, I feel my body yearn for this connection. Suddenly, I sense myself flying up into a gray, cloudy sky. It is the dead bleak of winter; the fields are empty and frosted, and I can feel the wind whip across my face. I am on a dormant farm. There is a wood fence and a white horse with muddled/organic black spots.
I am sustained in the silence – I am existing in the bleak.
I am suddenly indoors, warmed by the lit hearth of a small cottage. The atmosphere of the fire felt like the familiarity of home. The comfort sets my soul afire and I am now following an eagle soaring through the sky. He sits atop the White Pine, perched and looking out.
He is settled and so am I.
I settle into myself and I am now feeling the warmth of the cottage again. I see my hands and a flour covered table top. Dough has been made and is set aside. This dough will feed my family.
It is healing and we will be whole.
I feel White Pine connect with my left arm, the subtle comfort of a hug.
I am encouraged to share the worth and medicinal/healing properties of White Pine with people who may overlook this tree & take it for granted.
This is life sustaining.
DATE OF JOURNEY: 17 December 2018
DETAILS: Drumming / Laying Down / Covered in White Pine Branches
FROM MY NOTEBOOK: This wasn’t the most easy journey and it went back and forth between 2 difference scenarios. One scenario was a cold and bleak winter scene outdoors. I saw a fence and a horse. It cut to a hearth/cottage, warm and a fire lit. Felt comfortable. Cut back outdoors to an eagle soaring high then perched on top looking out. Back indoors I saw a table with flour and dough on it. Felt like I was healing my family. Life sustaining. Twitch on my left arm. Felt like she told me to honor her by sharing her worth with unsuspecting people.
– hot/cold – healing – food/flour/bread – hearth – horse – eagle – peace/blissful
We dropped her off
in the ocean dusk.
All that remained
was sand and dust.