Down my spine and through my bones
I want this to end
This week has started off in grey-scale. My light was dark and dim and grim. I saw my life through colorless lenses. I saw my love the same way.
The past work days have dragged on. Endless questions on where I am, where I am going, and what I am doing. I am confused.
Depression can take over me at times out of nowhere. I am emotionally tortured – held at gunpoint and too cowardly and ashamed to ask for help. Reminiscent of the past. Reminiscent of something I am still struggling with although I pretend that I’ve moved on.
This week has finally turned blue… in a good way. The sky looks so good, I could just dive in. My God, the Sun, is out there shining down. I feel the warmth on my skin. I am relieved that it is no longer dark.
I need to find a bigger purpose. I need to heal myself and my soul. I look forward to going to the lake this weekend.
Must spend some time outside. Must spend some time exercising and eating healthy. Must spend some time between the pines or in the water. Must spend time being me.