Fronds of Green

Fronds of green

Tickling the senses

Enjoying each dance in the wind

Not having a work day to begin

All is happening inside

Producing

Pumping

Emitting winter scents to us

As a reminder of the time that’s come

Our own inward dance to occur in parallel of our work days

Fronds of green

Deep desire to explore the internal life

What happens when we don’t observe?

Energetic vibrations

Rapid responses

Life force energy

An ability to continue existence despite the harsh wind

An allowance to dance

I welcome the bleak month as it means I will likely journey inwards too

And allow myself to dance in the wind

Just like those fronds of green

Pattering Rain

The rain patters against the windshield. I am not ready to leave the comfort of his energy. I want to stay and lay all day in each others arms. He exits his door and walks over to me. He kisses me and whispers “stay dry today” and off I went. The day has begun and I am still not ready. Still dreaming of his comforting love that makes physical impacts on me and makes me feel alive.

i am a moon.

When did I become the moon? Engrossed in dark femininity, trying to maintain my light for myself and others. I shine most of the time but I still have times of darkness. When people think of me, they forget about the phase when I fade away. When my light goes out and I feel like I can’t move on. Luckily, everything happens in phases.

 

hello sliver moon

Hello sliver moon

You’re keeping me company this morning

Hello sliver moon

My heart has been in mourning

 

Hello sliver moon

My depression has started re-forming

Hello sliver moon

My emotions are so warring

 

Hello sliver moon

Your light is joyful and roaring

Hello sliver moon

You’re sending my heart soaring

 

Hello sliver moon

I hope your energy is a warning

Hello sliver moon

I hope my own light is aborning

 

Hello sliver moon

My world has been dark and pouring

Hello sliver moon

I’m so glad you visited me this morning

pinned

At times, my life feels like the overplayed scene of a woman pinned between a car and a tree. She is stuck, immobile, and has seconds left. She seeks last words but none come to mind. A review of her well-routined life and her free time spent sulking. Ready to say goodbye.

Cycles

With each breath, crisp fall air fills her lungs with decay and sorrow. She is sick. The plants are dying and the birds are migrating. Her body is preparing for the dark season.

The coming months will be without sunlight. The air will grow cold, eventually, bone chilling. She will do fine the first few months but the bleak will get to her in due time. The depression will take over but she cannot forget it will be cured again with sunlight and a warm embrace.

Pylon

She leans against a pylon in the empty train stop. Her hair is blowing in the breeze and the sounds of the rustling leaves fills her head. The season is changing.

She is not yet where she hoped to be in this new season. She is no where near where she wanted to be. Actually, she hasn’t tried to change at all.

A plane flies overhead and she can feel the rumble of the engine vibrating in her feet. She wants to run but she is paralyzed. Her feet are detached from her brain. Her toes are rooted through the cement beneath her feet, dug deep underground amongst the dirt, amongst the bugs.

A blown leaf catches on her foot. She looks down and moves her feet apart. She has been a barrier for herself. She doesn’t want to block anyone or anything else. The leaf loses grip and floats away with the wind, to continue its destiny.

distant company

The lonely sinks in after 3 nights of sitting on the screen porch. Complete quiet except for the low buzz of the insects in the grass. She sits there in her thoughts while she looks out for some wildlife company.

After some time, she hears some rustling from the edge of the wood and in the distance she spots two eyes. A deer has come to feed on the dandelions.

Their eyes connect. She understands that the deer wants his space. The deer understands that she will give him peace. She finds comfort in no longer being alone.

Goodbye

Show off his craft and woodworking, the pieces of his time.

Remember the things he enjoyed, his love of deep red wine.

Rest in the home together, the one that he built with you in mind.

Hold one another close, and finally say goodbye.

The Flower Farm

Navigating to park on this one way dirt road. Windows down, hair awry. The earthy scent in the air and a sight to see! Saturated colors line the field. Flowers everywhere. I want to be selfish and take them all. Fill my head with soft petals of bliss, their long roots stretched all the way to my fingers and toes. Fill my body with light and make me weightless. Fill me with dirt and leaves. Fill me with air. I want to breathe.

Energy Exhumed

Last night was muggy. The breeze ran through the screen porch and allowed us some temporary relief. There were six of us, all family; some of us, best friends.

Ghosts were brought up and were assumed as my childhood imaginary friends. That is mostly true (stories I will share another time), but I did conjure up a fictional girl to spend time with.  My imaginary friend was very bohemian; colorful, long hair, no shoes. Though she never shared her name, I called her Esmeralda because she reminded me of one of my favorite Disney characters. She was my guide and my companion. I was an only child and she was a sister to me.

The next topic was the sacred Ouija. As I sit with the group, hysteria erupts. Ignorant assumptions of satanic, demonic, and negative energies. A spirit board is a tool. It is a symbol of other realms. It calms me and always has. It has helped me find the right path at times. It has provided me with positive results and comfort.

If only people could see the energy exhuming from themselves.