like fleece-lined leggings in cold
like fleece-lined leggings in cold
I hear the beating of the drum and I begin to run through my backyard, directly to the White Pine trees I call friends. I slow down as soon as I reach them. I slide my hand over the needles on the left tree to say hello. As I walk towards the next one, I slip through a tunnel in the ground. I slide down into the Lower World as gracefully as a snowflake falls to your chin in winter.
I am not just a body. I am spirit. I am ethereal.
When I reach the ground, it is very dark. My gut is telling me to go further forward. I am running free and fast. I only see two things; a rich emerald green floor and an consuming black sky. All of a sudden, I feel an energetic pull violently stop me in my tracks. The dirt floor begins to shake and a large deep crevice appears right next to me. The path is now blocked by a large crack in the ground and I cannot move. My mind fixates on my feet. I am stuck, I am stationary. When I lift my head to survey the area around me, I notice that on the other side of the crack, there is another person. It is not until my eyes settle into focus that I realize the person is me.
My view is my reflection.
I am naked, stripped of the modern clothes and items I carried here. My feet begin to pulsate, I can feel vibrations radiating up my leg in waves.
Standing behind the reflection of me is the sun, large and powerful. But when I look behind me, I see a blanket of teal covering the governing black sky I saw before. It smears over the sky like a shooting star, now rippling with hues of navy and purple. The sky is glinting with stars and the light of a first quarter moon.
I stand with my reflection. We smile at one another and send each other waves of kindness, appreciation, and understanding. We turn to our respective celestials with arms wide-stretched. We take in the rays of light. Then we turn slowly in a spiral form to observe the world and take in the essence around us. We end facing one another again and begin a silent mediation.
As time passes, the scene behind me begins to brighten to day. The scene in front of me transitions to night. I wave hello to Orion and send a kiss to Betelgeuse and Rigel.
I feel grateful and aware.
I see a raccoon. I see Mother Earth standing tall in tones that shimmer silvery gray and green. Her face is old but filled with joy and pride as she towers before us. I bow down to her and hug the ground.
She is with us every day if I remain aware and ground myself.
As I embrace the soil, the transition occurs again. I lay there as the light shifts from day to night, over and over. Days are passing and I am embracing in appreciation.
The sun is in front of me now. So large, I cannot see sky in my view. The only thing I see is the warm and bright surface of the sun, filled with fire, glory, and fury. This is our governor – he helps us track the day. This is our protector – he helps keep us warm. This is our healer – he helps our world grow. I kneel before the sun in appreciation.
I feel rejoiced to live in harmony with the light.
With my head down in gratitude, I feel the day shift back to night. I lift my head high towards the night sky and begin to stand up with arms wide-stretched again. A beam of light reaches towards me and my reflection. We are beamed up past the sky and into a silvery divine sphere. We are now levitating within the Upper World.
I feel the spirit of our dear Mother Earth present. I feel the waves of vibrations again. This is her heartbeat.
Our heartbeat in sync.
DATE OF JOURNEY: 12 February 2019
DETAILS: Drumming / Bath /Body submerged in Well Water, White Pine needles and twigs, & Sea Salt
FROM MY NOTEBOOK: I begin running to the white pine in my backyard and once I get around them – slip! I tank down into the underworld with a graceful fall like the snow outside. I am running forward. It is dark and the only colors I see are emerald green and black. I am running, running, and then, I halt. A large crack appears and I am almost swallowed whole. Something, some form of energy, pulled me back. I see a reflection of myself on the other side. I am naked. I feel pulsation on my feet. The sun is large and overpowering on that side but I look behind me and it is the blanket of the sky at night filled with beautiful glinting stars. I stand with my reflection. Our arms wide stretched taking in the essence and spirit of the world as the day shifts to night in front of me and shifts to day behind me. In front of me now is the teal cover of the night; teal, navy purple hues and beautiful stars above. I see Orion and I wave hello. I feel appreciative. I see a raccoon. I see Mother Earth standing tall in silvery gray/green tones. A look of pure joy on her face. I hug the ground now as the transition occurs. Day/night/day/night, What feels like days go by. The sun is in front of me now. The almighty father, our protector, our healer. I feel appreciative and small. As it transitions back to night, I look up at the stars with a cold face. A beam of light reaches me and my reflection and we are beamed up past the sky and into a silvery ethereal sphere and in that moment I realize that this is our dear mother. The birth of us. The birth of all. We are her heart and she is ours. Our vibrations are heartbeats in sync. Spiritual Ecology is us.
If you’re interested in exploring Spiritual Ecology or our Earth relationship further, please follow Kailea Sonrisa @earthisohana on instagram. She started a Spiritual Ecology book club that people can participate in from afar. This meditative journey is a part of my participation in response to prompt #1. I highly recommend joining. Let’s read/heal/exist together!
Trailing along the tree farm, the winter breeze runs past my lips. The exhilarating chill seeps into my body with a remembrance of our love celebrated last year. The sun comes out and we feel his warmth touch our face. This is love.
In order to really get to know yourself, you have to be able to embrace your darkness. We are all like the moon, we go through phases. We are in a continuous cycle of moving from full light through full dark. Our light is always a part of us. Our dark is always a part of us. You cannot understand yourself until you can embrace all it is you are.
I create when I’m dark & what you see is not all of me. I am light too.
The sun was just waking up to begin his day. His rays were blinding with their all-encompassing light. He filled my soul and gave me the energy I needed to face the trip home. Quickly, we spiraled down the mountain like drips off an ice cream cone.
We plunged into the ground and we then awoke.
With each breath, crisp fall air fills her lungs with decay and sorrow. She is sick. The plants are dying and the birds are migrating. Her body is preparing for the dark season.
The coming months will be without sunlight. The air will grow cold, eventually, bone chilling. She will do fine the first few months but the bleak will get to her in due time. The depression will take over but she cannot forget it will be cured again with sunlight and a warm embrace.
This week has started off in grey-scale. My light was dark and dim and grim. I saw my life through colorless lenses. I saw my love the same way.
The past work days have dragged on. Endless questions on where I am, where I am going, and what I am doing. I am confused.
Depression can take over me at times out of nowhere. I am emotionally tortured – held at gunpoint and too cowardly and ashamed to ask for help. Reminiscent of the past. Reminiscent of something I am still struggling with although I pretend that I’ve moved on.
This week has finally turned blue… in a good way. The sky looks so good, I could just dive in. My God, the Sun, is out there shining down. I feel the warmth on my skin. I am relieved that it is no longer dark.
I need to find a bigger purpose. I need to heal myself and my soul. I look forward to going to the lake this weekend.
Must spend some time outside. Must spend some time exercising and eating healthy. Must spend some time between the pines or in the water. Must spend time being me.
Navigating to park on this one way dirt road. Windows down, hair awry. The earthy scent in the air and a sight to see! Saturated colors line the field. Flowers everywhere. I want to be selfish and take them all. Fill my head with soft petals of bliss, their long roots stretched all the way to my fingers and toes. Fill my body with light and make me weightless. Fill me with dirt and leaves. Fill me with air. I want to breathe.
In the glare of the snow, my eyes adjust to the wonder in front of me.